Doula-Up Your Partner
Partner hesitant about hiring a doula? Family members afraid of inviting a stranger into your birth? Here are my reactions to common doula concerns.
If we are using a midwife/doctor we trust, why do we need a doula?
You don't need a doula, but you might want one because the role of a doula is to support the laboring woman/couple. Doula's usually provide support from the moment labor begins, and a doula's role is the same at home and in the hospital. Your doula will come to you within an hour or two of your labor starting and can help you decide when to call the doctor or midwife.
I am strong enough to support a woman in labor on my own!
Of course you are! Birth is a totally normal process that happens every day. But unless you have a lot of experience with birth, it may not look the way you expect it to. Having a professional who knows what to expect can help you focus your support. Depending on your interests, many doulas will prepare a snack for the birth partner, allow them to leave the room to take a quick nap or use the restroom.
What if labor happens quickly? We won't get much value for our dollars.
Sometimes labor progresses quickly, but most doulas offer services from the moment you sign a contract with them through the early postpartum period. Many offer unlimited phone/email support prior to labor for all of the questions you forgot to ask your provider. S/he will stay with you for the first hour or two postpartum, and then come back to your house once or twice after baby is born. Even if labor were only four hours long, you are getting an incredible deal and resource for your money.
I don't want someone stepping in and making decisions that we're supposed to make together.
Neither does your doula. Doulas do not make health-care decisions, nor do they communicate your wishes to medical staff. If you are presented with a decision, a knowledgable doula is like a real-live Google who can tell you the risks/benefits of most common procedures.
We know we need a planned C-section, and we don't want anyone talking us out of it or making us feel bad.
Doulas offer incredible support for all types of labor and will never make you feel bad for the choices you make. C-section is a major abdominal surgery, and you will have many questions. Doulas can help! A doula can stay with mama during her surgery while partner takes baby for a little skin-to-skin time.
Other facts that can make a difference to mama's partner:
- In the event that mom/baby must be separated, the partner can often go with the baby if s/he needs oxygen or a visit to the NICU. Partners feel confident leaving mama with a doula for a few minutes, knowing that she will be well cared for.
- Using a doula cuts labor time in half. If you think twelve hours feels long, I promise it isn't nearly as long as 24! A faster labor means mama and partner are both able to rest sooner, and baby has a better time, too!
- Using a doula decreases the likelihood of unnecessary interventions. Each intervention can cause trouble for mama, and each intervention costs more money. Did you read that? Your doula can save you pain and money.
Read more facts about doulas.
Partner hesitant about hiring a doula? Family members afraid of inviting a stranger into your birth? Here are my reactions to common doula concerns.
If we are using a midwife/doctor we trust, why do we need a doula?
You don't need a doula, but you might want one because the role of a doula is to support the laboring woman/couple. Doula's usually provide support from the moment labor begins, and a doula's role is the same at home and in the hospital. Your doula will come to you within an hour or two of your labor starting and can help you decide when to call the doctor or midwife.
I am strong enough to support a woman in labor on my own!
Of course you are! Birth is a totally normal process that happens every day. But unless you have a lot of experience with birth, it may not look the way you expect it to. Having a professional who knows what to expect can help you focus your support. Depending on your interests, many doulas will prepare a snack for the birth partner, allow them to leave the room to take a quick nap or use the restroom.
What if labor happens quickly? We won't get much value for our dollars.
Sometimes labor progresses quickly, but most doulas offer services from the moment you sign a contract with them through the early postpartum period. Many offer unlimited phone/email support prior to labor for all of the questions you forgot to ask your provider. S/he will stay with you for the first hour or two postpartum, and then come back to your house once or twice after baby is born. Even if labor were only four hours long, you are getting an incredible deal and resource for your money.
I don't want someone stepping in and making decisions that we're supposed to make together.
Neither does your doula. Doulas do not make health-care decisions, nor do they communicate your wishes to medical staff. If you are presented with a decision, a knowledgable doula is like a real-live Google who can tell you the risks/benefits of most common procedures.
We know we need a planned C-section, and we don't want anyone talking us out of it or making us feel bad.
Doulas offer incredible support for all types of labor and will never make you feel bad for the choices you make. C-section is a major abdominal surgery, and you will have many questions. Doulas can help! A doula can stay with mama during her surgery while partner takes baby for a little skin-to-skin time.
Other facts that can make a difference to mama's partner:
- In the event that mom/baby must be separated, the partner can often go with the baby if s/he needs oxygen or a visit to the NICU. Partners feel confident leaving mama with a doula for a few minutes, knowing that she will be well cared for.
- Using a doula cuts labor time in half. If you think twelve hours feels long, I promise it isn't nearly as long as 24! A faster labor means mama and partner are both able to rest sooner, and baby has a better time, too!
- Using a doula decreases the likelihood of unnecessary interventions. Each intervention can cause trouble for mama, and each intervention costs more money. Did you read that? Your doula can save you pain and money.
Read more facts about doulas.
